Adolescent Stumbling Blocks
“Most parents are in denial about adolescence,” said Dr. Carl Pickhardt, presenting “Stumbling Blocks in the Journey of Adolescence.”
“Most parents would like to think, ‘Adolescence is something that happens to other people’s children, but it wouldn’t happen to mine.’”
Nagging - the Grudge Work of Parenting
Who will give up first? This is the struggle between parent and child daily, and parents who don’t want to nag lose the battle. “Nagging is insistence over resistance,” said Dr. Carl Pickhardt, author of “The Everything Parent’s Guide to Positive Discipline.” “Nagging is the grudge work of parenting.”
Each child is different when it comes to conquering homework hassles, said Marriage and Family Therapist Annie Drake, at the first of a three-part parent seminar series. ...
With homework, she said there are generally two kinds of kids: “There are those that do everything early and are super organized - they cannot stand the anxiety of not being well prepared. The other - they are a bit like the rebels. They like a little more excitement and a little more adrenaline.”
Talking to Your Teen
Saying “No” to a teenager is not always easy, but saying it certain ways can make it easier, said Marriage and Family Therapist Annie Drake, at the second of a three-part parent seminar series.
One of the best ways to say no, said Drake, is to say, “We love you too much to let you do that. After you say that, they will bug you to stop loving them.” Another way, she said, is to say, “'No, not now.' Don’t say when - just say, ‘We’ll think about it.’ They are going to hear that love a lot when you say no that way.”
“TV and movies are probably the biggest reason I stand here tonight,” said Marriage and Family Therapist Annie Drake, at the last of her three parenting seminars. “TV and movies and too much computer will rob your child of motivation.”
You’re Grounded Forever!
Changing hairstyles, clothing, slang and even personalities can be expected as normal behavior in teenagers, said Parent Support Specialist Kelli White, presenting “Positive Discipline for your Teenager.”
Bumpy Teenage Road
Teens may not always have an explanation for their actions, but Parent Support Specialist Kelli White reminded parents, “All kids deserve the benefit of the doubt because they’re doing a great job navigating in this crazy world.”
She said, “When we ask, ‘Why did you do this?’ we’re setting them up not to answer us. They don’t know the answer. That’s the key to tuning parents out – when they start asking rhetorical questions.”
LIVE from Planet Teen
What looks like rebellion in teenagers may simply be part of growing up, according to Parent Support Specialist Kelli White, who presented “LIVE from Planet Teen: Understanding Each Other,” the third of a five-part monthly Parenting Series.
“The process of individuation often looks like rebellion,” said White. “Parents don’t understand that is normal. They are supposed to be separating from you and exploring who they want to become.” She said knowing this does not necessarily “make it any easier in the moment,” but parents should not take it personally and think, “How could you do this to me?”
Taxes, Teens and Tantrums
“Taxes, teens and tantrums - all three words have the power to cause stress,” said Parent Support Specialist Kelli White, discussing stress management for parents during the fourth of a five-part monthly Parenting Series.
“Most of us have little training on handling strong emotions, like anger, and often don't know how to express these feelings in positive, productive ways. Because of this, adults and teens alike tend to keep things bottled up until something causes the dam to break, resulting in a full-fledged tantrum,” said White.
“Yelling, screaming, name-calling, accusing, threatening, door-slamming and nagging are all symptoms of tantrums. And sometimes our kids act like that, too.”
Summer Safety“Where is the next fun thing?” is what teenagers think about during the summer, said Parent Support Specialist Kelli White, but parents should think of summer time as a seasonal conversation starter about safety and expectations.
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