American Idol in Austin

American Idol finally has made it to Austin. We may be the “Live Music Capital of the World,” but are our collective voices worth noting? Are we going to look just as bad as so many other cities, or will our musical talent shine through all the wannabes and fifteen-minutes-of-famers?
That is what I was wondering going in to the broadcast, and I have to say I was rather disappointed. I mean, there were some good singers, and there were some bad singers, but the show itself wasn’t particularly interesting. I guess I thought we would stand out somehow, and I’m not sure we did that. Of course, selective cutting could be to blame, in which case we’ll find out eventually. Nonetheless, there were several things I found good, bad, just plain strange, or worthy of note for some other reason.
First of all, what was up with all the zombies “gate crashing” Idol, as Ryan Seacrest put it? If there was some sort of symbolism to be found, it didn’t catch me. I have to assume it was some kind of obscure inside joke.
I felt bad for a couple of people - one was Paula, the girl who had braces. She didn’t sing well, of course, but there wasn’t any need for Simon to make fun of her braces, especially when he could see that she idolized Paula Abdul and that this was probably a really big deal for her. Harp on the singing? Yes. The braces? I thought that was a little rough.
Then, I also felt bad for 17-year-old Tessie from Arlington, who insisted “Simon is going to love me. He is going to love me from the second I walk in.” After she sang, “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” Simon was more cordial than usual, saying, “I’m going to be really nice and suggest an entirely different career.” Okay, that’s enough. She leaves.
But, then, he compares her figure to stuffing a sack of potatoes. That was plain wrong.
I also felt bad in a different way for Allison, whose plane blew a door seal on the way to Austin. She said they had to move to the front of the plane and wear oxygen masks and that she had her cell phone open, wondering who she would call if they went down - her mom or her dad. She said going through an experience like that “changes things.” I’ll say.
Unfortunately, the first time around at auditions she was so nervous that Simon said, “I had a cat once whose tail got caught in the door, and it sounded like that.” She got him back, though, in a very good way, when he suggested that she take a few minutes and then come back for another shot - this time imagining Randy in his swimming trunks. She quipped that the reason she had been so nervous is because she already was imagining Simon in his swimming trunks! Too bad she won’t be continuing on the show.
Never again will I write a sentence like this, but … The embalmer from Longview was cute and had a nice voice.
Also, Ricky from Texas A&M-Commerce, the music major, represented with “I Can’t Make You Love Me If You Don’t.” With a “Hello, Austin!” from Randy and a “The nicest sounding voice I’ve heard in the auditions so far” from Simon, he’s looking good!
R.J., the “ladies man,” I’m sure scored lots of points when he said of his flirtations waiting tables: “I like the women when I get them 30 and up, they’re drinking some wine - that’s money for you.” Uh huh.
The funniest part of the whole show was Kevin, the Randy look-alike from Longview. It really was remarkable - really! Then, there was the “fit model,” Ashley, who could sing with her mouth closed. And Cierra from Pflugerville, who seemed like a really nice girl and was very pretty. It’s probably not good, though, when Simon compares your Christmas carols to a “soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Silent Night, but take off the night.” Ouch. Until then … Caroline.