So that's what it's like

So I discovered last night what it's like to pass out - almost.
I'll start by saying I began feeling ill a couple of nights ago. What seemed to be out of the blue (although now I perhaps can see there were some signs) my entire body starting aching like I'd been hit by a packed-up semi, the glands in my neck felt the size of oversized grapefruits - I could hardly swallow because of it - and I could hear fluid gurgling around in my ears.
Well, I'm not one for being sick so I keep doing my thing. Last night, I simply needed to stand in place for ten minutes for something. No problem, right? Well, as soon as I do so I start feeling woozy. My first thought is, "Hey, maybe I'm locking my knees" so I adjust my legs. Nope, wasn't doing that.
Then, things go from bad to worse: I start feeling really hot and tingly, both of my ears start ringing, my sense of balance evaporates, the world starts turning into pink puffs that cloud out any chance of actual vision - I truly can't see anymore - my head and arms keep falling forward (I'm not entirely sure I didn't actually pass out a couple of seconds at a time,) and OH MY GOSH everything is wretched.
And, this persists - solidly - for the remainder of the ten minutes. In my head, I keep reciting, "God, please let me finish this. God, please let me finish this." It's ten minutes, for crying out loud! I do manage - remarkably so, I must say - but the moment my ten minutes are up, I immediately sit down and freak out anew. I look down, and my entire body, every single pore, is covered in huge droplets of sweat, like I'd just spent half an hour in the sauna. I thought, "Holy mother of kittens!" (except less politely.) I went to the restroom to try to compose myself, and it did help, but within moments, I was now freezing cold and I could feel every part of my body vibrating - literally, little buzzing movements, like a giant cell phone, letting me know - "Hey, you're sick! Hel-lo! Can you hear me now?"
Needless to say, I'm in bed today, sporadically, at least, and Snickers is keeping me company. She is a licker, that's just all there is to it, and today she was being extra "affectionate." I thought, "Oh, she must know I'm sick, and she wants to take care of me. Awww." Later in the day, I walk by her completely empty food bowl and am like, "Oh." (I should point out that in one of my more miserable moments, my morbid side prompted me to think, "Maybe she's just waiting for me to die so she can start on my corpse." -- Cats do that, you know. They know when you die, and then, you're just something dead laying on the bed. Reassuring thought.)
Anyway, I will be better tomorrow, I am sure! Never again to come close to fainting! :)