Women subconsciously can recognize men who will be good fathers and long-term mates, says a recent study, and they also can tell who would be best for flings.
The results show that, based on facial photographs, women have a very good sense at identifying men who like kids, and thus, deem them as the best choices for long-term relationships. Those identified as having the highest testosterone levels, or being the most masculine, were perceived to be best for short-term relationships. The theory behind the results is that evolution has programmed women to recognize men likely to "propagate" the species by raising a family.
I can see this. I guess the problems come in when we don't listen to our senses. And, too, experience has to play a large part. I can tell a lot better now who would be a good "mate" than I could even a few years ago.
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Funny...i'm going to print this article and read it...but I've always suspected that some women looked for different guys to date and have flings with, as opposed to men they would meet later and were interested in having relationships with.
I'm rather short, and in my dating days, I was certain this was How the World Worked, even though I hadn't read studies.
I became more certain of it when just out of law school, I worked for a divorce attorney, and heard all kinds of stories from both sexes about where they went wrong in making marriages. There was this fact pattern I saw more than once, where women married men whom they thought were stable...but the "stable" man they wanted to settle down with was looking for party girls and a sort of an extended fling. Or the stable one would be the male, who married somebody who turned out not to be looking for stability.
Yeah. I think men must be able to tell, too.
Are you saying you seemed like the long-term guy or the fling kind of guy, if you don't mind me asking? I ask because it seems like long-termers have more difficulty in the dating world, but probably more success in the lifetime picture. Or, that is my hope, perhaps.
I think I give off the "relationship vibe," and I'm pretty sure this scares away a lot of men.
Oh, I was definitely the long term type. On the whole, I disliked dating. Trouble is, with men who are really long termers, there is a little bit of a fling struggling to get out, which gets the signals all messed up.
I think long term thinking in the relationship context, or most others, is a better strategy for being successful, but it's certainly harder, because the world we live in puts such a premimum on short-term relationship thinking, if that makes sense.
It may not make sense, but it's sure a run-on sentence. Will have to think more on that subject.
The pathetic "puppy dog" look. I heard a woman say this referring to another guy. She "recognized" this look. I thought to myself, is it a certain "look" that makes a woman determine all a man is? Do I have this look too? Should I get a tatoo, or grow a goatee? What should I do??!!
Looks, vibes..here's my interpretation.
A good guy and a good gal might marry in their 20's and stay put for 50 years. Good guy better have rich parents to be able to pull this off. We all hate this perfect couple.
When "jerks" and "bitches" (aka bad guy and bad girl) get together, they both have had 3 bad marriages, six step kids and one big mess.
A good guy will date a bitch because the good gals reject him, that's just the way it is. By his early thirties he realizes the good gals his age are all married. This morphs into the pathetic "puppy dog" look the woman recognized a mile away. He ends up marrying a bitch. She typically has kids from a marriage to a jerk, but puppy dog don't care, 'cause he don't want to be called no queer, since he's in his 30's and not hitched. He may also try the younger gals, who will reject him due to his age PROVIDED he isn't rich (from the money he saved on all those dateless nights). There it is ladies, that is how men are.
A good gal will date jerks, that's just the way it is. She'll have a jerk's kids while in her twenties or date jerks until her bio clock alarm goes off at 35. She'll realizes the good guys are now married, or are now rich and want someone younger. She recognizes only men who are obviously queers or puppy dogs and ends up getting 5 more cats, a sperm doner, and a house on her own. That's provided she is independent minded. Otherwise she'll find a jerk 10 years younger who will pick her up at her parents house.
End result: 50% divorce rate, decline in birthrates, and an explosion of blogs.
Anonymous,
That's a pretty pessimistic outlook. Thankfully, I can say I don't share it.
Jefe,
Long term may be a little tougher in the beginning, but I think it will be better for life.
Either way, that's who I am - take it or leave it, I say! ;)
Stable. That's interesting. I had dinner with someone not too long ago who said she could 'read' people. Then she proceeded to do so with the other patrons she saw sitting in the restaurant.
I asked her how she read me? She replied, "Stable." Me being a *guy*, I wasn't quite sure what she meant at first. Did she mean financially? Was it because of my big feet? Then it dawned on me and her assessment made me feel good because, once I thought about it, that's how I see myself.
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