Do you ever have those times where you find yourself stepping away from everything and just letting all the goings-on in your head go round and round?
I think all the time, and I mean ALL the time, but sometimes it seems like I need only to think, for a while. I go in to a hibernation of sorts, and then in hours, days, or weeks ... I emerge, with either some kind of answer or conclusion, or a sense of order, or at least a better feeling inside as to my path within all the chaos. I seem to need to do it to center or balance myself, like it's something essential for me to continue to press forward. I know I'm somewhat more sensitive than many (I am a Crab, after all,) but it seems like it moves beyond that, too. More spiritual, perhaps?
It reminds me of about ten years ago when I read the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book. It talked about how men need to hibernate on occasion and how women should let them be when they do. It said men will come out of the cave on their own when they are ready, and all will be right again. We should let them come back to us, instead of pursuing them when they retreat, it said. I'm pretty obviously not a man, but perhaps it is similar:
All will be righted when my head peeks out of my shell, and I begin to walk toward the sand ...
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3 comments:
Wow, this is a deep one. I think you hit it when you said the word spiritual. When I feel like you describe, I got to mass. I feel so much better afterwards. I also think of what I accomplished and the odds that were against me, rather than thinking of the things I couldn't obtain. This works in thoughts of life and love. Now hush woman, the Cowboys are about to play. :)
I quite often retreat into my own little mental hacienda to cogitate on things, although, like you, I'm always thinking. I've noticed that keeping a private journal helps.
When I really need to think, it's over some big decision, and those introspection jags seem to come in two flavors: (1) when I'm seriously not certain what I'm going to do and I need to think about it; or, (2) when I know right well what I'm going to have to do, and I need to screw myself up to do it. Seems like (1) is easier than (2).
I'm not particularly down while I hibernate, and I don't have a decision I'm struggling with - I just want to think and think and think ... away from other people, I guess I should point out.
And, yes, I do pray in there, too! It's always so cool - when I really focus on praying for something for myself or someone else - I ALWAYS see something happen as a result.
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