Monday, November 28, 2005

Winning and Losing the Game of Love

* The guys are proving very insightful, thus far ...
Remember my dying-laughing-affair with the movie "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days?"

Well, I ran with that for my column a couple of weeks ago by surveying a bunch of women as to what they felt women tended to do to "lose" and to "win" men. I found that we pretty much don't have a clue.
This time, I am surveying the men as to what men tend to do to "lose" and to "win" women. Maybe the men know a little more?
If the answers turn out interesting, I'll put the women's and the men's answers together for you all to read. I can tell you already we could get a good laugh!


El Jefe Maximo said...

Seems like I'd know more about what to do to "lose" women than win.

I claim no knowledge of the picture from your side of the hill, of course, but why do I have this feeling that someplace in the Girl Rulebook there's this Rule (probably a sub-paragraph of a larger, more complete and complex rule -- you know, with a big number, 13.1256 or something), that says: "Thou shall never let the Guy know he's won you, at least completely."

In the same key, I think one definite "loser" move for a guy is to be too interested, too quickly. If a woman gets the idea that a guy's got nothing going on but her, he's in shallow water and running aground pretty quick.

Travis Fell said...

Dear Caroline,
Welcome to the Austin blogosphere. I've read you columns in the OH Gazette and am glad to see you've made the jump online.

In your most recent printed column, you point out the do's and dont's for men. Among things guys should do is "Call her everyday". Yet, among things guys should not do is "Bee too interested to quickly."

What then is the ruling from the Girl Rulebook that defines "too quickly" so those everyday calling types will not disqualify themselves?

Candidly Caroline said...

Well, now, remember those were the guys' answers, not mine.
I would say that all of it needs to be in measured steps. You don't want to call a woman every day at the very, very beginning. After you've had a few dates, and there is an established *mutual* interest, then it is pretty cool when a guy wants to call you every day.
As far as being interested too much too fast - a lot of guys do that. When a guy is calling you wanting to actually do something together every day, that's a big red flag. I mean, what did this guy do before I came along? Doesn't he have work and responsibilities and social obligations? Absolutely, it is good to share some of those things but not entirely.
Every time a guy has pushed too hard too fast it hasn't worked out - of course, I'm still single so technically every technique hasn't worked out - but, overall, I think it is better for both parties to take it a little slow. It can be very hard to do that when you really like someone, but I think it makes for a better experience.
Here's the thing: It is always good to leave someone wanting a little more. If you give them everything up front right away, they'll be done before the relationship has had a chance to blossom.

Alex said...

Hey Caroline...I think you've got it. No one wants to get too involved too quickly and share too much but I wouldn't mind a lady I've built up some kind of level of common interest with to call. You have to gauge the response to your needs, interests and desires.

The one you're looking for will let things evolve and grow naturally.

Good luck!

Candidly Caroline said...

Muchas Gracias!