Monday, October 03, 2005

Date or Soul Mate

~ Forgot to mention that my "Must Haves" and "Can't Stands," based on the book, are below on August 19.
I just posted my column on “Date … Or Soul Mate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less” in "Single and All That Implies."


Anonymous said...

The German general von Moltke (the elder) supposedly said once that "no battle plan survives contact with the enemy." This might be true of dating plans as well. I recall from my own dating days that the trouble with "must have's" and "can't stands" is that they sometimes get amended by reality.

Do you really know what a "must have" is ? How serious is a "can't stand ?" It's my experience that when you start dealing with people in the flesh, the boundries of what you'll accept and what you won't get a little fuzzy. It follows that the shorter you can keep the "must have" and the "can't stand" list, the easier it is to actually stick to your list.

When I was in law school, my first week of contracts class, somebody asked why this contract at issue in a case had been so vague on so many important subjects. Of course, the answer was that the parties were so keen on making a deal, they didn't want to queer it by actually talking business, which cost them later. Guess the moral is: make sure you REALLY know what's on the "must have" and "can't stand" list.

Candidly Caroline said...

I would have to agree with you. I put a lot of thought in to my lists, and I think that is exactly why it is so important for me to stick with them.
Will I really be happy with someone who doesn't measure up on the basic premises I feel are essential? I doubt I would be happy in the long run.
I'll just stay single until I find someone who is a good complement to me. I've waited this long; I might as well ride it out, now. ;)