~ Forgot to mention that my "Must Haves" and "Can't Stands," based on the book, are below on August 19.
I just posted my column on “Date … Or Soul Mate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less” in "Single and All That Implies."
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2 comments:
The German general von Moltke (the elder) supposedly said once that "no battle plan survives contact with the enemy." This might be true of dating plans as well. I recall from my own dating days that the trouble with "must have's" and "can't stands" is that they sometimes get amended by reality.
Do you really know what a "must have" is ? How serious is a "can't stand ?" It's my experience that when you start dealing with people in the flesh, the boundries of what you'll accept and what you won't get a little fuzzy. It follows that the shorter you can keep the "must have" and the "can't stand" list, the easier it is to actually stick to your list.
When I was in law school, my first week of contracts class, somebody asked why this contract at issue in a case had been so vague on so many important subjects. Of course, the answer was that the parties were so keen on making a deal, they didn't want to queer it by actually talking business, which cost them later. Guess the moral is: make sure you REALLY know what's on the "must have" and "can't stand" list.
I would have to agree with you. I put a lot of thought in to my lists, and I think that is exactly why it is so important for me to stick with them.
Will I really be happy with someone who doesn't measure up on the basic premises I feel are essential? I doubt I would be happy in the long run.
I'll just stay single until I find someone who is a good complement to me. I've waited this long; I might as well ride it out, now. ;)
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