Thursday, December 08, 2005

OK - Here's What You Have Been Waiting For ...

Finally, I have put together (for my non-column readers) the results from my "How to Lose a Guy" and "How to Lose a Gal" polls. Here are y'all's answers.
First, the Women's Perspective:

From the stunned, “I have absolutely no idea” comments to the “I’m really going to have to think about this” comments to the “I’m a lot better at losing guys than winning them, Caroline” comments, it proved to be a tougher question than I anticipated for the women, but here are some of their answers.
What Women Do to “Lose” Guys
Invite yourself out with him and his friends.
Introduce him as your boyfriend when you only have been dating a week.
Call him too much to do things with him.
(S)Mother him.
Try to convert him to your religion/diet/lifestyle, etc.
Talk about your ex-boyfriends all the time: how romantic they were, etc.
Talk about yourself non-stop.
Try to get him to buy you expensive things.
Talk about marriage and having kids.
Try to introduce him to your parents too soon.
Leave stuff at his place without asking him first.
Ask for a key to his place.
Nag him.
What Women Do to “Win” Guys
Don't answer his calls right away.
Find out if he prefers skirts or pants.
Surprise him with pizza for dinner.
Cook or bake for him.
Thank him for the “little things,” such as opening doors, etc. Let him know his efforts are appreciated.
Make him feel good about himself by showering him with compliments. Or, alternatively, make him feel bad about himself so his self esteem is so damaged he thinks you are the best he can get. (This came with a disclaimer saying she had just seen it work with others.)
Give him his space.
Act unavailable when he calls.
Don't ask too many prying questions in the beginning.
What Doesn’t Work:
Telling him you are going out with a bunch of guys just to make him jealous.
Telling him you are asexual and he has no chance of sleeping with you.
Now, the Men's Perspective:
“I claim no knowledge of the picture from your side of the hill, of course, but why do I have this feeling that someplace in the Girl Rulebook there's this Rule (probably a sub-paragraph of a larger, more complete and complex rule -- you know, with a big number, 13.1256 or something) that says, ‘Thou shall never let the Guy know he's won you, at least completely.’”
What Men Do to “Win” Women
Be interested rather than interesting.
Care about her interests, feelings, and needs.
Compliment her appearance and achievements.
Buy her flowers.
Call her everyday.
Open the door for her.
Dress well.
Cook for her.
Fix things around her house.
What Men Do to “Lose” Women
Skip the gentlemanly details.
Never compliment her.
Don't concern yourself with what's important to her.
Talk about other women a lot - especially ex's.
Don’t offer to fix things around her house.
Don’t call her enough.
Be too interested, too quickly. If a woman gets the idea that a guy's got nothing going on but her, he's in shallow water and running aground pretty quick.
One man said, “Note, women are resilient when in love and will take a lot of abuse before giving up. So ‘losing’ one this way may take a lot of time and work.”
Another man said, “When it comes to intimate relationships, most people of both genders have spent more time and energy on elementary school grammar than on introspection of this topic. Additionally, asking each gender about themselves only gives a single (pun intended) reference point. I only know how one man dates - me. I know how many women date.”
My Perspective: The men seemed to be a little more thoughtful at answering the questions. I was, at first, surprised by that, but then I think I figured out the reason - you see, the men were able to answer the questions so thoughtfully because we, as women, have informed them so well as to how best meet our needs. ;)
Really, it’s a win for all of us. Happy debate on that one!


justcarl said...

I can safely say I fulfill 7 of the 9 rules to win women. I guess there's room for improvement.

Candidly Caroline said...

Not bad, Carl. Not bad at all!

Queen of Sky said...

Hmmm... I recognize some things there ;)

justcarl said...

I should add, my favorite pizza's pepperoni, jalapeno, mushroom. Ahem. ;-)

Doug Bagley said...

Pretty interesting stuff. We all can probably see a bit of ourselves in some of those comments.